3rd+trimester+piece

a book of short memoirs by Kevin Schwartz

My Mom and Dad

First, I will start with my mom and

dad. My dad grew up in Elgin, and

was born on October 23, 1955. He

is a Chicago sports fan, and he likes

every sports team In Chicago. His

favorite sport is baseball.

My mom was born in Elgin also.

She grew up here in Bartlett, and is

also a Chicago sports fan, but not

nearly as much of a fan as my dad.

1

ME

I won’t give you a bunch of boring

times and dates for my birthday

(I am 11) because I don’t want you to

think that I’m boring (it’s OK to think

that my mom and dad are boring,

though). My favorite sports are

baseball, football and basketball. I

like all Chicago sports teams except

those darn Cubs. Well, I guess

they’re OK…

OK, enough with the boring stuff,

let’s get going!

2 Chapter One The camera and the tooth

When I was about five years old,

my dad bought a video camera. Not a

really expensive one, but it definitely

worked. My brother, my sister and I

were **//CRAZY//** about it. We were

constantly asking if my dad could

tape us, and he finally said, “Yes.”

(No one could stand our begging

powers).

So, first we went to the zoo

where I bought a stuffed snake, and

we went home. My dad told us we

had to sing Christmas carols for the

camera before we started goofing 3

off for the camera. When were about

half way through singing, __Rudolph__

__the Red Nosed Reindeer__, my younger

brother started screaming and said,


 * //“No….that’s not how you sing it!”//**

But my sister and I just kept on

singing!

My brother started crying.

We kept on singing.

He cried louder.

We started to sing louder.

Finally, he got so mad he ran out

of the room. My sister and I were

still singing. Right when we were

singing the very last word of the 4

song, he ran into the room and

tackled me. My brother and I were

fighting on the floor for about five

seconds before I yelled, **//“I lost my//**


 * //toof mommy.”//** Yup, that’s really how I

lost my first tooth.

5 Chapter Two Baseball – Home Plate of Doom

The next year, I started to get

interested in baseball. Naturally,

my brother followed me. One day

when were playing with a tee, my

brother ran away with home plate.

I ran after him and soon caught up.

He dropped the base, I tripped and

the base went right into my knee, but

I couldn’t feel anything!!!

I pulled the edge of the base out

and __that__ was when it started to

hurt. I screamed and hopped on one

foot all the way over to my dad, 6

who picked me up and brought me

inside. I wasn’t bleeding that much,

so I didn’t have to go to the

hospital. While my dad got a damp

rag, my mom got an icepack. After

a week or two, I was fine again.

7 Chapter Three The Ramp

When I was in third grade I was

“invited” to SWAS. The second day

of the first year, I went over to my

friend’s house. His name is Tyler.

After awhile, we decided to go off

his bike ramp with our bikes, without

helmets or any other safety gear.

You think we’re pretty dumb,

right? Well… umm, I guess we kind of

were…

Tyler went first. He landed it

pretty well and so I was next.

Obviously, I didn’t do it perfect, or

I wouldn’t be writing about it. 8 I planned to do a trick before I went

off the ramp, which involved going

very fast and slamming on the

brakes. So, I started way farther

back so I could do the trick, but as

I slammed on the brakes, umm…well,

I thought that the brakes would

actually **//WORK!!!//**

Just as I realized that the brakes

weren’t working, I flew up in the air.

I think I might have done a flip, and

then everything went black.

Well, the next time I woke up, I

was in the car heading home to meet

my dad, so he could take me to 9 the hospital. I didn’t say anything

until we got to the hospital, and the

doctor asked me what happened.

It turned out we saw a friend

from my old school. He got a

concussion when he ran into a pole

at school.

After a few minutes I went up to

the hospital room and watched TV

until we went into the CAT scan

room. It turned out I had a

concussion, just like my friend from

my old school. After that, we went

back to my hospital room, changed

back into my clothes and went home. 10 Chapter Four “Stupid Wall!”

About one year later, I was

running around my house chasing my

brother, who had my homework, when

I slipped, fell, and my knee went

straight into the sharp edge of the

wall. “Ow, stupid wall!” I screamed.

I limped upstairs to my mom and

my sister, and all they had to do was

look at my knee, and they knew that

we had to get some bandages on it.

My sister brought the bandages

upstairs and wrapped it around my

knee. I was OK after that, but we all

thought that I would need 11 stitches. Actually, it turned out

that I //__didn’t__// need stitches. I was

fine after that, but the scar is still

very visible.

12 Chapter Five Red Snow

That winter, I went over to

Tyler’s house. By now, you’d assume

we weren’t as dumb as before, right?

LEFT!!! I mean, WRONG!!! First, we

decided to, well jump off a 30 foot

fence of course!!! Real smart, huh.

Anyway, when it was my turn, I

jumped off, and… BAM!!! My knee

(man, that knee and I have been

through A LOT!!!) went right into my

lip!!! My lip started to bleed A LOT

and after about 3 seconds, I fainted.

I woke up only about 10 seconds

Later, and Tyler told me that I 13 had scraped my chin, and I had

almost bit through my lip! “Yeah, I

can tell,” I said, looking at all the

blood.

So, judging by how stupid we

are, what do you think we did next?

Tackle football, or go inside and

tell Tyler’s mom what happened?

DUH!!! Tackle football!!! After a

good game, my scrape on my chin got

twice as painful, and my lip started

to bleed again. We went in, and //__then__//

we told Tyler’s mom what happened.

It turned out that I had to go home

and I learned never to jump off 14

30-foot Fences and never to play

football right after you just got

hurt so badly you faint.

15

a book of short memoirs by Kevin Schwartz

My Mom and Dad

First, I will start with my mom and

dad. My dad grew up in Elgin, and

was born on October 23, 1955. He

is a Chicago sports fan, and he likes

every sports team In Chicago. His

favorite sport is baseball.

My mom was born in Elgin also.

She grew up here in Bartlett, and is

also a Chicago sports fan, but not

nearly as much of a fan as my dad.

1

ME

I won’t give you a bunch of boring

times and dates for my birthday

(I am 11) because I don’t want you to

think that I’m boring (it’s OK to think

that my mom and dad are boring,

though). My favorite sports are

baseball, football and basketball. I

like all Chicago sports teams except

those darn Cubs. Well, I guess

they’re OK…

OK, enough with the boring stuff,

let’s get going!

2 Chapter One The camera and the tooth

When I was about five years old,

my dad bought a video camera. Not a

really expensive one, but it definitely

worked. My brother, my sister and I

were //**CRAZY**// about it. We were

constantly asking if my dad could

tape us, and he finally said, “Yes.”

(No one could stand our begging

powers).

So, first we went to the zoo

where I bought a stuffed snake, and

we went home. My dad told us we

had to sing Christmas carols for the

camera before we started goofing 3

off for the camera. When were about

half way through singing, __Rudolph__

__the Red Nosed Reindeer__, my younger

brother started screaming and said,

//**“No….that’s not how you sing it!”**//

But my sister and I just kept on

singing!

My brother started crying.

We kept on singing.

He cried louder.

We started to sing louder.

Finally, he got so mad he ran out

of the room. My sister and I were

still singing. Right when we were

singing the very last word of the 4

song, he ran into the room and

tackled me. My brother and I were

fighting on the floor for about five

seconds before I yelled, //**“I lost my**//

//**toof mommy.”**// Yup, that’s really how I

lost my first tooth.

5 Chapter Two Baseball – Home Plate of Doom

The next year, I started to get

interested in baseball. Naturally,

my brother followed me. One day

when were playing with a tee, my

brother ran away with home plate.

I ran after him and soon caught up.

He dropped the base, I tripped and

the base went right into my knee, but

I couldn’t feel anything!!!

I pulled the edge of the base out

and __that__ was when it started to

hurt. I screamed and hopped on one

foot all the way over to my dad, 6

who picked me up and brought me

inside. I wasn’t bleeding that much,

so I didn’t have to go to the

hospital. While my dad got a damp

rag, my mom got an icepack. After

a week or two, I was fine again.

7 Chapter Three The Ramp

When I was in third grade I was

“invited” to SWAS. The second day

of the first year, I went over to my

friend’s house. His name is Tyler.

After awhile, we decided to go off

his bike ramp with our bikes, without

helmets or any other safety gear.

You think we’re pretty dumb,

right? Well… umm, I guess we kind of

were…

Tyler went first. He landed it

pretty well and so I was next.

Obviously, I didn’t do it perfect, or

I wouldn’t be writing about it. 8 I planned to do a trick before I went

off the ramp, which involved going

very fast and slamming on the

brakes. So, I started way farther

back so I could do the trick, but as

I slammed on the brakes, umm…well,

I thought that the brakes would

actually **//WORK!!!//**

Just as I realized that the brakes

weren’t working, I flew up in the air.

I think I might have done a flip, and

then everything went black.

Well, the next time I woke up, I

was in the car heading home to meet

my dad, so he could take me to 9 the hospital. I didn’t say anything

until we got to the hospital, and the

doctor asked me what happened.

It turned out we saw a friend

from my old school. He got a

concussion when he ran into a pole

at school.

After a few minutes I went up to

the hospital room and watched TV

until we went into the CAT scan

room. It turned out I had a

concussion, just like my friend from

my old school. After that, we went

back to my hospital room, changed

back into my clothes and went home. 10 Chapter Four “Stupid Wall!”

About one year later, I was

running around my house chasing my

brother, who had my homework, when

I slipped, fell, and my knee went

straight into the sharp edge of the

wall. “Ow, stupid wall!” I screamed.

I limped upstairs to my mom and

my sister, and all they had to do was

look at my knee, and they knew that

we had to get some bandages on it.

My sister brought the bandages

upstairs and wrapped it around my

knee. I was OK after that, but we all

thought that I would need 11 stitches. Actually, it turned out

that I //__didn’t__// need stitches. I was

fine after that, but the scar is still

very visible.

12 Chapter Five Red Snow

That winter, I went over to

Tyler’s house. By now, you’d assume

we weren’t as dumb as before, right?

LEFT!!! I mean, WRONG!!! First, we

decided to, well jump off a 30 foot

fence of course!!! Real smart, huh.

Anyway, when it was my turn, I

jumped off, and… BAM!!! My knee

(man, that knee and I have been

through A LOT!!!) went right into my

lip!!! My lip started to bleed A LOT

and after about 3 seconds, I fainted.

I woke up only about 10 seconds

Later, and Tyler told me that I 13 had scraped my chin, and I had

almost bit through my lip! “Yeah, I

can tell,” I said, looking at all the

blood.

So, judging by how stupid we

are, what do you think we did next?

Tackle football, or go inside and

tell Tyler’s mom what happened?

DUH!!! Tackle football!!! After a

good game, my scrape on my chin got

twice as painful, and my lip started

to bleed again. We went in, and //__then__//

we told Tyler’s mom what happened.

It turned out that I had to go home

and I learned never to jump off 14

30-foot Fences and never to play

football right after you just got

hurt so badly you faint.

15